Route 22 Honda

Folks, I thought I’d have a little fun with this one, and if any of you live in Hillside, New Jersey (I know several of our California Scooter riders are from New Jersey), you might want to stop by Route 22 Honda.  Tell them about me, if you would.

Here’s the problem.  I live in California.  I drive a Corvette and a California Scooter.

Well, okay, none of those things are problems.   So what is?

Somehow, some way, these folks at Route 22 Honda in Hillside, NJ are convinced that all I need is a little nudge from them to stop by.   I’ve been getting junk mail from these guys forever.   I’ve written to them.  I’ve called them.  I’ve used their “unsubscribe” button.   Nothing seems to help.    That photo to the right is what I keep getting (except that I get it full size).  I can’t seem to get it to stop.   I’m guessing they don’t work on Corvettes or California Scooters, and I’m pretty sure that even if I had a Honda, I wouldn’t drive 3,000 miles to get the oil changed.  Yet the emails keep on coming…

It’s not just Route 22 Honda.  Some guy named Dr. Oz keeps writing to me about his weight loss program.   When I use their unsubscribe button, it just runs me to their website.    These gangsters don’t list a phone number anywhere, so I can’t even call them and yell a little bit.  In fact, it seems like the Dr. Oz emails picked up a bit since I ran those photos showing my pastrami dip sandwich from The Hat last week.    Maybe they’re trying to tell me something.

And it’s not just Dr. Oz and Route 22 Honda.   I’ll get probably 30 junk emails every day.   Viagra.   Young women from (fill in the blank) who are eager to meet me.   Website promotion services.    And other folks trying to sell me weight loss programs.   I’ll tell you, I’m a popular guy.

Back to this Dr. Oz dude.   Folks, if there really was a doctor named Oz, would you visit that guy for anything that ailed you?   I wouldn’t care what kind of a wizard he was.   Even if I was desperate to get back to Kansas, I paid attention when they told me to pay no attention to the man behind the green curtain.  Bring on the flying monkeys…you can rest assured that none of my medical needs will ever be met by some email dude named Dr. Oz.

Maybe these folks should just talk to each other.  I mean, what young woman out there in the Internet ether would want to meet me if she know I was fat and my website was not optimally configured for search engine recognition?   That seems to be the profile the Internet thinks I fit.    Oh, yeah, and that I drive a Honda and live in Hillside, New Jersey.

Ah, I need a break.  Time to get out on the California Scooter.   I think I’ll ride it up to the Mt. Baldy Lodge for lunch today and maybe have a cup of their chili…